That Geri Halliwell has a lot to answer for.
She’s the reason I spent my first year at university with half a make-up counter applied to my face with a trowel. And Ginger Spice was also the ‘inspiration’ for the countless times I thought wearing chunky boots with a dress was a good idea.
Look back at the mid-1990s and you can see the Spice Girls’ platform marks stamped all over any girl from the age of 11 up.
Despite the fact that two of them could barely hold a tune, and they gave us song lyrics as intellectually shallow as ‘Slam your body down and wind it all around’, the marketing juggernaut surrounding them did a mighty fine job of turning their hype into success.
It would be nice to think that the nostalgic fog has now lifted and we can finally see that the brand of female empowerment they championed actually achieved naff-all for women.
But I fear all the usual cliches about girl power are on the verge of being reignited, as the five band members get ready to unleash the new musical based on their lives on the world.
Using a collection of their biggest hits, comedian Jennifer Saunders is expected to take part in the press launch of Viva Forever tomorrow.
Like Mamma Mia before it, the musical will string a flimsy story of love and friendship together by shoe-horning as many songs in at any given opportunity.
Did the cringe-inducing performances of Colin Firth and Pierce Brosnan teach us nothing? These kind of shows would be better left as one of those crazy ideas that someone has in the wee small hours of the night...and then promptly forgets.
Of course I’ll be exercising my right to pretend Viva Forever doesn’t exist. But it’s harder to ignore the rubbish that will be trotted out about the legacy these lasses were meant to have left us.
Clearly, it’s time to admit that all that guff about girl power was just part of the brand. We fell for it once, but that doesn’t mean we have to fall for it again.
Doing peace signs and banging on about friendship never gave women a more level playing field. In fact, in many ways it meant we took our eye off the real ball.