I’ve lived with my boyfriend for more than a year now and the one thing I’ve learned is that having a boyfriend or husband is no easier than having a child.
Firstly they constantly need entertaining. If you’re short of time you can always plonk them down in front of the TV or Xbox, but to be a good wife or girlfriend you should really spend time doing enriching activities such as walks in the country or trips to the cinema.
I seem to lack strong willpower when it comes to portion control and often eat everything in the fridge minutes after the supermarket shop arrives
Feeding is also a big issue. If it’s not the right dinner, tantrums can ensue and vegetables have to be cunningly hidden to ensure they’re consumed.
Plus, what man is capable of dressing himself? Clothes shopping cannot be allowed unsupervised, as at best he’ll come back with a selection of mismatched garments. At worst you’ll find him down the pub a few hours later.
Then on top of this, many boyfriends and husbands also suffer from ‘man flu’, a nasty strain of the common cold that requires wives or girlfriends to be on nursing duties 24 hours a day.
All in all I’m looking forward to having children. Surely it must be easier than this?!
Jez: Worryingly I found myself agreeing with Lou’s statement that men are just like kids.
My wife purchases my clothes and often chooses what she thinks I should be wearing – and she behaves in exactly the same way with our kids’ choice of clothing.
Like many mums, she also packs their school bags and checks they haven’t forgotten their lunch or gym kit.
When we go away for the weekend it’s my wife who will pack my overnight bag. She even fills my toiletry bag with my deodorant and razors.
When it comes to food there are more worrying similarities between the kids and me. I seem to lack strong willpower when it comes to portion control and often eat everything in the fridge minutes after the supermarket shop arrives.
My kids are exactly the same with sweets and chocolate. We always tell them to make their Easter eggs last, but they are gone within hours.
The final piece of evidence is my lack of willingness to share food, as I get very irritated if my wife takes chips from my plate.