Long-range forecasting is a career based on guesswork

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I’ve always known there must be an easier way to make a living than hacking away at a keyboard for 40 years – and I was right. I should have become a long-range weather forecaster.

You go to university, get yourself some sort of scientific degree – then guess your way through the rest of your career.

Take this year, for example. Councils began stocking up with salt and grit in June after dire predictions of an ‘Arctic blast,’ with Britain buried beneath massive snow drifts in the run-up to Christmas.

We are now informed that November will be one of the warmest on record ‘with Sussex even warmer than Syria.’

Long-range weather forecasting? It’s all a load of crystal balls.