My blue rinse and I are going coach class in future

Mo Farrah after missing out on a gold medal
				 Picture: Adam Davy

VERITY LUSH: Leave me to browse the make-up counter in peace

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Coach travel, once the sole mode of travel for students and the elderly, is the new way forward for the rest of us.

I went to London on Saturday and needed a last-minute ticket.

So I automatically turned to look at trains and, my goodness, it’s so expensive.

I know if you book 18 months in advance you can get a ticket for £1 but who is that organised?

And the online site had me swearing (quietly) in frustration with all the options that you can and can’t change on, the ones with seats booked, the ones you have to be on, or buy a new ticket for.

Much simpler and cheaper to opt for the coach. And really, are you sitting any closer to a stranger than you do on the train?

Those little arm rests which you can pull down make me laugh. I think they are there to give you some feeling of personal space when we all know no-one uses them anyway as there aren’t any strict visible guidelines as to who has right of arm resting.

People separate themselves on both coaches and trains and then spend the entire journey trying not to use the arm rests and apologising profusely if skin accidentally touches skin. The only people who do use them are young children, with the sprawl of the uninhibited. And you’d never choose to sit next to one of them in case you end up covered in chocolate milk and sneezed bits of crisps.

Do away with arm rests I say, and set our hips free – if you don’t know what I’m talking about, lucky you.

Once, many student years ago, I caught a coach from Fareham, via London, to Greece. It was a three-day trip across Europe and I starved for the entire journey as, although I had drachmas in my pocket for my arrival in Athens, it hadn’t occurred to me that I’d need different currencies for the seven or so stops on the way.

No wonder I was so thin before the Euro zone was introduced. I can blame my weight entirely on monetary policy.

There’s no way I can get away with looking like a student now, so I’m going to have a blue rinse and join in with those older and wiser than myself. They’ve known all along that coach class is way above first class.