My fear of flying will mean a long road trip to Malaga

Mutiny Festival 2017 Picture: Paul Windsor

Keep children safe – but beware the nanny state

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We’ve been offered a week in our friend’s villa in Malaga as a wedding present.

Now I know you’re thinking ‘how wonderful’ and yes, it really is. But it’s put my mind in turmoil again.

You see, I hate flying. It really is the one thing that terrifies me and no matter what I try to do to overcome it, I have yet to succeed.

I expect you’re now calling me a wuss and saying that I should just grin and bear it in the knowledge that aeroplans are just about safest form of motorised transport there is. And you are right. But I can’t.

Believe me I have tried. I’ve spent thousands on different types of hypnotherapy and taking sedatives subscribed by the doctor which only succeeded in making me worse.

I can’t even say I’ve had a bad experience when flying, which I have done twice. But I hated it so much.

I start to become anxious about the flight as soon as it’s booked. I dread the holiday and when I have actually got there, I’m soon dreading coming back. It’s so bad that I’ve even got off a plane bound for the States while it was sitting on the Tarmac at Gatwick.

So you see, the thought of a week’s holiday in Malaga is a delightful prospect. But it’s opened up all my stupid fears, my feelings of inadequacy and my not wanting to let down my other half.

Sarah does understand my problem. She’s terrified of spiders. I said that she should imagine it’s like going on holiday on the back of one!

I suppose many people have a fear of public speaking. But to me, it doesn’t matter if it’s 10 or 10,000 people.

Yet that won’t make it any easier to get to a holiday destination via flight.

My commonsense knows the best thing to do is to hop on a plane for two-and-a-half hours and spend eight nights in the sun.

Instead, we will more likely be on the overnight Portsmouth to Caen ferry, driving all day Saturday to Biarritz. Then driving all day Sunday to Malaga.

But I’m trying to put a positive spin on it. The road trip will be fun and a romantic stopover in beautiful Biarritz is far nicer than flying.