My massage was so painful - but I’m still going back for more

Hugh Jackman as Logan
Hugh Jackman as Logan
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Have you ever had a rather unusual experience that leaves you feeling a little, well, strange? I had one of those last weekend.

You see, I’ve been working very hard of late – not just Monday to Friday hard, but seven days a week hard (I know, poor me, right?).

So last Saturday I decided to treat myself to a massage.

I’ve not had one for such a long time and after I worked Saturday morning I decided to book myself in.

By the time I reached the door of the spa, I already felt myself relax a little. Perhaps it was the soothing music or fragrant smells wafting from the treatment rooms, but whatever it was I felt the weight of the world lifting from my shoulders.

Until, however, I got in the Jacuzzi and some lady wanted to chat.

Why oh why do people look at me and want to chat? I don’t get it. I didn’t even make eye contact, so God knows why she felt compelled to drum up a conversation, but she did.

There was only one thing for it – I closed my eyes and put my head back in the hope that she’d get the message.

She didn’t.

But the glass of bubbles they gave me upon arrival did help me just a bit and by the time I was called for my full body massage, I was ready to relax.

My masseuse instantly declared that I was ‘extremely stressed’ and had ‘too much tension’, so I let her go to town on my body.

The problem was she took it a little too literally and it was blooming painful. So painful in fact that the next day I woke up to find bruises all over my body – seriously.

Admittedly you can barely see them, but it just shows you how hard she was rubbing me. No wonder I was in pain during the process and kept wincing.

It was difficult because it was a kind of pleasure-pain – it was nice, but difficult to sit still and not tense every time she tried to get a knot out of my back.

‘Relax’ she said. ‘just enjoy it’.

I wanted to reply that it was a little difficult given the sheer amount of pain I was in. Still, I’m going back this weekend, so it wasn’t that bad!

I ENJOYED LOGAN, BUT I ADMIT I JUMPED THROUGHOUT THE FILM

I went to Gunwharf Quays this week to see the new Logan movie.

For fans of the X-Men movies, I don’t need to explain what it’s about.

But for the rest of you, it’s the final movie about Wolverine.

I went on Tuesday with some girlfriends to celebrate a birthday and, despite not getting out until gone 11pm, which quite frankly is way too late on a school night, it was a really enjoyable evening and I strongly recommend the film.

Yes, it was cheesy in places. But how can it not be given that the film is about a half-man, half-wolf creature?

However, I did spend most of the film jumping at every sudden movement – much to the amusement (or annoyance) of everyone else in the cinema.

IT DOES GET ANNOYING WHEN ED IS ON THE RADIO ALL THE TIME

I like Ed Sheeran. Don’t get me wrong, the man is one talented individual and I can admire his skill.

But let me rant for a second.

Does anyone else feel the need to switch to another radio station when he comes on yet again?

Is it just me?

I’m just so fed up of hearing his songs being played constantly.

It might have something to do with the fact that he currently has nine singles in the Top 10 charts.

Nine! Can you believe it? I’m pretty sure that’s never been done before.

Ed, you’re a hardworking artist who writes great songs.

You’re probably a very nice bloke as well.

But it does get annoying when you’re on the radio all day every day!