My Slendertone’s breathed its last - it’s time for Spanx

Mutiny Festival 2017 Picture: Paul Windsor

Keep children safe – but beware the nanny state

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I’ve been dieting ever since I made a new year resolution to stop eating junk food and eat proper meals instead.

So far I’ve lost nine pounds, taking my weight down to just under nine stone. No longer do I crave chocolate and Big Macs which, if I’m honest, are my biggest downfall along with chips.

Some slim women are lucky. They can eat like truckers and still look like supermodels, but they’re a tiny minority.

Everyone has one of these friends. You know what it’s like – they order pizza and, while you’re thinking whether you can justify having extra cheese and a thick crust, she wolfs hers down and is thinking about ordering a calorie-laden dessert.

My best girlie pal is a skinny Minnie. But she never talks about diets or exercise and the word gym is practically a swear word.

She stays slender without even trying. Except she does try, she just doesn’t realise she’s doing anything.

Whilst I reach for a Mars bar when I feel like a snack, ‘Minnie’ will have a banana or an apple.

And while she doesn’t have a gym membership or go out for 10-mile runs, she’s one of those people who never sits still for more than five minutes at a time.

We went on holiday a few years back and she was up at the crack of dawn every day, going for walks and seeing the sights, while I spent the entire time lazing on a sun lounger supping pina coladas.

There’s a common myth that thin people can eat what they want and stay that way.

Maybe there are a few that can, but in the long term most women have specific ways of eating and living.

They just work at it in a different way. I used to skip breakfast and go straight to the chocolate digestives at around 11am.

But now I find having a breakfast of porridge at 7am actually stops me from reaching for a chocolate fix!

Having lost some weight I just need to tone everything up now. But it’s not looking too good as my Slendertone gadget has finally breathed its last after a valiant attempt to try to control my flab.

Looks like a trip down to Debenhams for some Spanx pants may well be imminent!