Ihave some sad news to report.
I’d like to report the death of my trusty and loyal Ford Focus.
She passed away last week, with 237,000 miles on the clock, from a tragic case of rust.
Although I’m deeply saddened by the departure of the mobile public health hazard, I am pleased to say that the final piece of the dad jigsaw is now in place.
I have given in to the demands of being a family man and bought an estate car.
It’s been looming for a long time now.
Having a five-year-old and a one year-old, my old car had become a milk-splashed, crumb-coated people transporter.
Throw a Border Collie into the mix and you can start to see the full picture.
Opposing the change was ridiculous and futile.
My my how things have changed.
Ten years ago my wife and I were cruising the highways of Canada with the roof down on our Jeep, listening to Led Zeppelin, with the warm breeze blowing through our hair.
These days I’m sat stationary on the M27, listening to Playschool Pop! And I haven’t got any hair.
Over the years a lot has changed and our lifestyle now demands a machine that is fully committed to shifting lots of things all at once and at minimal expense.
One of the major deciding factors when picking the new vehicle was cubic meterage ie: a car with a cavernous boot.
Just packing for a day at the beach is volume intensive.
By the time I’ve packed chairs, beach tent, cool box, scooter, parasol, beach toys, blankets, towels, three bags and an inflatable dolphin into the boot, the dog’s face is splayed across the rear window like Garfield from 1986.
Imagine what a camping weekend is like. When everything is packed in, I actually put the windows down, so it feels like we’ve all got a bit more room to move around.
You know when you have an SPS (strategic planning strategy) for your glove box, that you need a bigger car.
Safety was another major concern when picking the new wheels.
In my child-free years, I drove cars that were on the cusp of MOT safety – tyres a little worn, brakes a little spongey and seats a little bit deck-chairy.
These days, having little people to care for, I want a car that is covered from bumper to bumper in air bags. So I bought one with six.
I hope I never get to see any of them, but if they do ever go off at the same time, it’ll be like a bouncy castle being inflated inside a telephone box.
We’ve got more space and better safety, so now I can look forward to more relaxed road trips...Hmm.