Naked wobbly people should not be allowed near eating

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I only have one issue with this heat – naked wobbly people nearby whilst I’m trying to eat.

It’s a treat to see people walking along the seafront barefoot, wearing a swimsuit or just a pair of shorts. Freedom from 10 months of fabric incarceration!

But I’d like to see a new law introduced. If you’re athletic and toned, you’re free to walk into a pub or bar and enjoy your refreshing beverage with your shirt off.

You’ve worked out, you look good, you’ve earned your liberation. But if your body quivers 20 seconds after you’ve stopped moving, it should be law to keep all appendages covered up.

A Caesar salad topped off by a misdirected moob is against all human rights.

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