Oh fudge, we have to give up swearing for 40 days!

Rick just wanted him and his wife to go to sleep
Rick just wanted him and his wife to go to sleep
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Shrove Tuesday always signals to me that spring is just around the corner.

In fact, yesterday (Ash Wednesday and St David’s Day) was apparently the first meteorological day of spring.

It was also the first day of Lent. The idea is to fast for 40 days before Easter and making pancakes is a way of using up things in the pantry in preparation for Lent.

My Wave 105 radio colleague Kate Weston has decided not to have any wine at home for 40 days.

I reckon that after a busy time reporting on all those A32 and M27 issues on our travel bulletins, she’ll be down the pub every night instead!

Kate is very much a regular at church. She goes to Bible class and helps with her son’s Boys’ Brigade.

I’m not so regular, but for Lent both Sarah and I have decided that we’re going to give up swearing in the house for 40 days.

I know what you’re thinking. We have two small children, so we shouldn’t be swearing anyway. And you’d be right.

Freddie is just learning to talk and as yet is forming very few sentences. It’s mainly one or two words.

We would be devastated if he did start using expletives. It would be entirely our fault.

So we think 40 swear-free days will be a very good discipline for us.

We’ve decided to use alternative words though, as swearing is scientifically proven to release stress.

‘Fudge’, ‘shocking’, ‘shut the front door’, ‘hits’ and ‘frolic’ are now replacing similar-sounding words.

When both children are tired and hungry, they can really get on our ‘hits’, but we’ll just have to be patient and not let their screaming ‘fudge’ us off too much.

Unlike Kate though, when we put the kids to bed in the evening we’ll be able to say ‘bodge it’ and enjoy a glass of wine each.

Otherwise we’ll be at each other’s throats. I know when I’m tired and hungry that there’s a danger of me being a bit of a ‘bar steward’.

Boy, the next 40 days are going to be interesting!

I WAS READY TO GO TO BED, BUT MY WIFE WAS DYEING HER HAIR

Sleep has become an important issue for me once again.

I did breakfast shows for 15 years before joining Wave 105 and, after eight years off, I’m back on the 4.30am alarm calls.

I was ready for bed on Monday at 8pm, but was then informed by my wife that she wanted to dye her hair. Typical.

So I watched the first half of the Leicester v Liverpool match and promptly fell asleep.

Guess what? By the time I got to bed, I wasn’t tired.

As I tossed and turned, desperate for sleep at 11pm, you can imagine my mood!

Let’s just say it was even worse come Tuesday.

That late night will take me three days to recover from.

We call these moods the ‘breakfast bitches’!

NOTHING REALLY PREPARES YOU FOR WONDERFUL MILESTONES

My daughter Holly has just taken her first proper steps!

It was a wonderful moment as she waddled across the conservatory from Sarah to me. It may have only been five steps, but they were her own, unaided.

She properly put one foot in front of the other several times and made it to her destination without falling flat on her face.

Soon she’ll be running around the kitchen opening all the drawers and doors just like her brother did.

So Holly takes her first steps. Next, Freddie, who is three at the end of May, needs to start potty training.

Boy, this is hard work. Nothing really prepares you for it.

But what a journey, witnessing all these wonderful milestones.