Open fruit juice cartons and your blood pressure will go sky high

Bryan Ferry

LESLEY KEATING: Embracing festival season without the dreaded loos

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Research has found that people who regularly drink fruit juice have significantly higher blood pressure than those who have it occasionally.

Could I just suggest the main reason why? If you buy a certain type of rectangular carton, getting the top off is so hard that by the time you’ve bitten it off and then poured the juice through an irregular hole onto either your clothes or the surface on which you put your glass, your blood pressure will have gone through the roof. That’s why it’s unhealthy!

n Simon Cowell has dismissed The Great British Bake Off as a challenger to The X Factor, saying that it’s too boring to compete with his show.

I think he’s right because the shows are totally different. The Bake Off is just a bunch of amateurs producing a load of unhealthy sugary stuff. Whereas The X Factor is just a bunch of amateurs producing....Oh hang on, let me think this through again.

n The German capital is to mark the 25th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall next month with a huge street party around the Brandenburg Gate.

Now they celebrated the 10th anniversary of this and the 20th, and they’ll no doubt celebrate the 30th too. So why does the 25th anniversary always get so heavily celebrated too?

If you’re going to have parties to celebrate the 25th anniversary of something, then why can’t we also have them on the 15th anniversary and the 35th anniversary and so on?

It’s like we’re being robbed of loads of extra celebratory parties that we could be having every few years. And, as 18 and 21 are also important landmarks for most people, why can’t there be parties to celebrate the 18th and 21st anniversaries of important world events? We’re being ripped off here. I want more parties!

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