Pal’s mambo mix-up gave me a LOL

Ed Sheeran

Quit whining - and if you can’t cope, buy some hair dye

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I’ve had a couple of LOLs (textspeak for ‘laugh out loud’ if you didn’t know) recently.

One was from a well-wisher who wrote to assure me that just ‘being good’ wouldn’t get my through the pearly gates. Only renouncing my sins would do that.

Right. Not much sinning going on here, dear. Pity.

The second letter was from a girliepal who obviously thought I was doing a lot more ‘sinning’ than even I knew about.

She wrote that she hoped I was feeling better and that ‘the chlamydia had healed’.

Chlamydia! Isn’t that a sexually-transmitted infection?

I know that chlamydia is on the increase in the over-50s due to rampant single wrinklies not practising safe sex.

But all I had was a diabetic yeast infection.

No mattress mambo going on here dear. Yet.

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