Prolonged exposure to auto cuties is addling our brains

Police forces will 'potentially' work with paedophile-hunter groups                                          
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The BBC’s outgoing director-general, Mark Thompson, has finally accepted that ‘women of a certain age’ get a raw deal from the corporation.

This is a view long held by men of a certain age, whose brains are prematurely addled because of prolonged exposure to auto-cuties.

Breakfast television? Give me Sian Phillips rather than Christine Bleakley, the early-morning empress finally dethroned after she was found to be devoid of clothes.

News reading? They can bring back the measured tones of Moira Stuart and ditch the self-obsessed Fiona Bruce as quickly as they like.

Newsnight? Stick with the brusque efficiency of Kirsty Wark and put Emily Maitlis in cold storage until she has perfected her Princess Di impersonation.