Reeling after a Remy razzle

Axed ' it's the end for all those Met Office weather presenters like Michael Fish who appeared on the BBC.
Axed ' it's the end for all those Met Office weather presenters like Michael Fish who appeared on the BBC.
Lesley's delighted that pole dancing may soon be an Olympic sport                       Credit: PA

LESLEY KEATING: Pole dancing’s not seedy – it’s vertical gymnastics

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Do you ever get annoyed when you can’t take a bottle of drink through an airport so you have to either drink it quickly or throw it away because it’s too big?

If you’re like me and it’s usually a bottle of water, you bite the bullet, gulp it down in one and then spend the whole of your flight in the cramped aircraft toilet.

Well, if you think downing a bottle of water is a pain, get this – a Chinese woman in her forties was stopped at Beijing airport for trying to carry a bottle of Remy Martin cognac worth £120 on to a plane.

Faced with either having to throw the whole bottle away or drinking the contents, she opted for the latter and downed the entire contents because she didn’t want to waste it.

She then became incredibly drunk, started shouting incoherently and fell to the ground, which is where she stayed until removed by security. She was then given medical care and was collected by her family after being released by police some hours later.

I can’t work out whether I think she’s incredibly stupid or whether I admire her for drinking the stuff and refusing to chuck it away.

Last word about the One Direction split. They’ve told everyone they won’t be splitting properly until next March. I think that’s good because it gives their legions of fans time to make a rational decision about which boyband they’ll switch their allegiance to.

In the old days, if a boyband split there was this horrible void in which teenage girls would be wailing in their bedrooms for days. But now they know they’ve got months to get used to the break-up – plenty of time to choose a new boyband, buy all their merchandise and move seamlessly from loving One Direction to loving another group.

There are no tears, no tantrums and it can all be done quite sensibly. Thanks, lads.

So, the BBC is dropping the Met Office as supplier of its weather bulletins and it’s down to a straight fight between two companies: one from Holland, one from New Zealand.

I can’t believe the BBC hasn’t developed a TV talent show to choose the next firm to do the weather. It would be easy. You get both companies to predict the weather for the next few days and whichever gets closest each day wins the contract.

You could also have auditions for the new forecasters with a panel of former weathermen and women mentoring, just like The X-Factor.

At least that would keep in work a few of those who will lose their jobs.