Save the British sickie

Tents in the Isambard Brunel car park in Portsmouth

NEWS COMMENT: Wild campers in car park might make a difference

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The number of sick days taken has plunged to an all-time low.

The average per worker, which stood at 7.2 days in 1993, plunged to just 4.4 days last year. This worries me, and I’ll tell you why.

British workers might be on the verge of losing one of the greatest skills; the ability to phone in sick in a convincing voice.

So if you’re about to go to work, phone in sick right now. I don’t want you to actually throw a sickie, I want you to phone in, then go into work and pretend you’re struggling.

Your boss will think you’re really hard-working and you’ll be getting some good practice for when you want to throw a proper sickie when the weather’s better.

Come on now, phone in sick and don’t let this great British skill disappear.