She who must be obeyed has spoken... thou shalt decorate

Mel Gibson as Kurt Mayron, Mark Wahlberg as Dusty Mayron, Will Ferrell as Brad Taggart and John Lithgow as Don Taggart in Daddy's Home 2. Picture: PA Photo/Paramount Pictures/Claire Fogler.

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After living in our house for four years, I finally conceded that it was time for a spot of decorating.

‘I want to make a feature wall, with wallpaper,’ my wife suggested/instructed/insisted. Of course the nice feature wall then needs to be accompanied by another three freshly-painted walls.

What are the chances of the newly-decorated walls co-ordinating with the existing curtains? Zero.

Apparently new curtains should be paired with new quilt covers.

I’ve never even noticed the colour of our towels, but I’m informed they need to ‘pick up’ the hues of the quilt cover.

New towels govern that the bathroom now needs a quick spruce up too.

It’s fair to say that I’ve become an emulsional wreck.