Shoulder noise like a cement mixer stirring housebricks

AUDREY HEPBURN As she was in 1956       Picture: Bud Fraker/Wikipedia

Audrey Hepburn - a REAL star

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So, today is my birthday – the big 4-0. Thanks for the card.

In the past two months my back has given way twice, resulting in trips to see the chiropractor, a doctor and to A&E.

My Achilles tendon in my left leg is in tatters.

I only have to up my pace to a light mince and it seems to twang and if I rotate my arm, the noise from my shoulder is similar to that of a cement mixer stirring a load of housebricks.

All those years of playing rugby, falling off bikes and getting mashed on a judo mat are slowly starting to catch up with me.

All this proves that sport is really not that good for you.

Only joking. Cheers, here’s to the next 40 years!

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