So how can chopping an onion and a tomato be called a recipe?

Vanessa Feltz

RICK JACKSON: We’ve developed thick skin, but we’re still human beings

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I was looking in a recipe book the other day and there was a ‘recipe’ for a tomato and onion salad.

I say ‘recipe’ because it basically said ‘slice half an onion and a couple of tomatoes, put on a plate and drizzle with oil.’

Now in my book that’s neither a recipe nor a salad. To my mind, a salad has to contain lettuce or something green at least. That should be the first rule of salad!

Also, how can chopping an onion and a tomato and putting them on a plate be called a recipe?

For a recipe you should have to either cook something or mix some stuff together. Those should be the first rules of a recipe.

If we’re so lazy that we think a couple of chopped-up vegetables is haute cuisine, then we may as well give up now.

n So the European Space Agency managed to land a small robot probe launched from a space ship on to a moving comet.

It dropped the robot on the comet from a height of 20 kilometres.

Is it just me or does anyone else think this was basically a Nintendo DS game on a slightly bigger scale?

They didn’t need boffins at the controls trying to land the probe. A moody British gamer would have done!

The scientists involved say that in terms of difficulty, it was like pushing a washing machine out the back of an airliner and expecting it to hit Regent’s Park while the ground is moving underneath.

Which sounds about as difficult as coming up with that analogy.

n At the weekend I had one of those chicken escalope things covered in breadcrumbs and after I put it in the oven to bake I looked at the ingredients and it said ‘31 per cent breadcrumbs.’

That’s not an escalope – it’s a sandwich! The only thing I’ve ever eaten containing more bread is...bread.

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