So why are there no clothes for men with extra timber?

Clive Smith says he would not like to arm wrestle athlete Caster Semenya 		Picture: Martin Rickett/PA Wire

CLIVE SMITH: English pigs? Don’t bite the hand that feeds you

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After a couple of years of struggling to fit into my suit, it was time for a new whistle.

But it soon became apparent this wasn’t going to be as easy as I expected.

What has happened to all the clothes for the man carrying an extra bit of timber?

Everything is skinny fit, but the nation is getting fatter, not thinner! The irony of it.

Eventually, I found something in a well-known men’s clothing store that doesn’t provide changing rooms.

Was I supposed to get changed in the store and face possible arrest for outraging public decency?

No. Just bring it back if it doesn’t fit, said the lady behind the till.

So I can look forward to the cost of another journey. Thanks a lot.