Speechless Sam’s a nice change

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So Sam Smith picked up two gongs at the recent Billboard Music Awards in Las Vegas. Although he had to accept via a video message in which he couldn’t speak due to his recent throat operation, so he had to hold up idiot board messages instead.

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Is it just me, or does anyone else think it made a nice change to have someone pick up an award who was genuinely speechless, instead of all those other award winners who say they’re ‘speechless’, but then spend the next five minutes giving a speech where they thank everyone?

Apart from being God, it’s got to be the most impressive job title in the world, surely?

I was reminded of something yesterday that I had completely forgotten. The professional head of the British navy is called The First Sea Lord. And it made me think: how powerful a job title does that sound?

It makes you think that he has the power to create tidal waves and part oceans, doesn’t it?

And how do you become First Sea Lord? Do you have to be a Lord of some other vast chunk of the planet before you can send your CV in? Or do you have to prove that you can do some water-based miracles, like making a pond disappear or something like that?

Apart from being God, it’s got to be the most impressive job title in the world, surely?

Organisers of the Chelsea Flower Show have warned that nearly a quarter of the UK’s front gardens are now paved over. A lot of people are saying that this is really bad for bird-life because they’ve got less soil available from which to get the earthworms that they feed off.

But I don’t agree.

Because I think by having concrete down in your front garden, you’re making it harder for cats to hide in the garden undergrowth which is where they usually pounce on birds from, so really you’re actually helping to save birds in the long run.

Plus, paving over your front garden gives neighbourhood cats less places to poo in, which means they might go somewhere else.

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