State of beach makes me feel like a crosspatch Cabbage Patch Kid

Liam Gallagher

Once again the motorist is being used as a cash cow

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How much?’

‘£45,000.’

You’re ’avin a laugh Portsmouth City Council.

Last week I mentioned to seafront manager David Evans that I wasn’t very impressed with the bright blue and white paint job (£45k) on the long wooden shelter on the promenade at Southsea (next to Rocksby’s Restaurant and Speakers’ Corner).

Mr Evans was surprised at my comments as I’m always banging on that the east end of our seafront is neglected.

He thought I’d be thrilled with the glossily-painted shelter.

Well, I’m no doyenne of 
DIY darlings, but I suggested David took a closer look.

Because to me the paintwork is patchy in places, there’s some very dodgy areas that haven’t been rubbed down before painting. And get up real close and personal to where the bolts are painted over and....nuke my eyes dear, orange!

To me it looks like rust is coming through.

Last Friday I thought I’d morphed into a Cabbage Patch Kid.

Remember the must- have craze in the early 1980s.

The huggable squashy- faced doll came with its own ‘birth certificate’, so the kiddy owner could ‘adopt’ them.

Millions were sold.

And why did I feel like a Cabbage Patch Kid?

Because I was looking towards 1.5 miles of Eastney beach where it looked like the pebbles had been ‘ invaded’ by cabbage-planting extra-
terrestrials.

I haven’t walked along that stretch of our seafront for over 20 years, and I was gobsmacked. It looks like an unkempt, uncared-for, big patch of weeds.

What an eyesore, dear.

Yeah I know what it is, stop banging your ‘save the wildlife’ drums.

I looked up Eastney beach and flora and fauna on the internet. Vegetated shingle and a valuable habitat for wee beasties (my words).

It’s a Site of Importance for Nature Conservation (SINC) and has sea holly, sea kale, sea bindweed and sea radish.

I’m all for a bit of conservation dear, but 1.5 miles of it is ridiculous. So come on council, get those pretty pastel-painted beach huts built and reduce ‘cabbage patches’ on Eastney beach.

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