STEVE POWER: I’m waiting for the Gunkarama 423 XS

Why couldnt he use that nice new snazzy vacuum cleaner I bought him for his birthday?
Why couldnt he use that nice new snazzy vacuum cleaner I bought him for his birthday?
The drivers' dispute might be over, but at what cost?

CLIVE SMITH: The dressing-up corner is now no longer safe from the PC brigade

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Do you ever get the feeling that the reason vacuum cleaners look so snazzy these days is just a ruse to make men more interested in using them?

Think about it, modern vacuums have loads of futuristic looking attachments and you can see the parts moving inside, because they’re often made of clear tinted plastic. Also these days they are called things like ′Dyson′.

A Dyson sounds more like a brand of sports car than a brand of vacuum.

All we need now is for them to rename the washing-up sponge ′The Gunkerama 423 XS′ and men will be doing the dishes every night!

n Why do people get so upset about you swigging mouthwash from a shared bottle of the stuff instead of using the cap? It’s an antiseptic isn’t it? So what are they worried about? It is designed to kill germs, so if any of your germs have touched the bottle, the stuff will destroy them when you swig it! Okay now I know it’s wrong to swig it from the bottle, gargle and then spit it back into the bottle, but I’ve learnt my lesson.

Stop hassling me about my mouthwash bottle swigging!

n So why is it that the darker the lighting is in a restaurant, the more likely the menu is to be written in squiggly illegible writing?

Don’t they want us to eat their food?

n Do you ever use one of those pump action toothpaste dispensers but then it just pumps out way too much toothpaste if you give it the full press? The problem is developing that lightness of touch to get a much smaller dollop of toothpaste out but this is one of the hardest things to learn. Come on toothpaste manufacturers.

Let’s go back to the old days when we had those metal tubes that were really hard to get the toothpaste out of!