Steve Power: Waiters can’t outsmart me

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Kieran's son Louie is now on his fourth photoshoot - at just 21 months                                                         (Shutterstock)

KIERAN HOWARD: It’s not easy making Louie’s photos look so effortless

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So, measures to tackle unfair tipping practices have been proposed by the government, amid claims that some restaurant chains are regularly holding back tips meant for staff.

With this in mind, here is my main rule for tipping in restaurants. Always tip waitresses or waiters well.

This is because if they are unemployed actors who go on to be rich and famous, they will owe you big time one day.

Something else that struck me about tipping. If you think the waiter or waitress is a bright person that deserves rewarding, don’t tip them anything.

If they are that clever, they should be able to overcharge you for your meal without you realising it, and get their extra cash that way.

Anyone who can outsmart me in a restaurant deserves my cash.

Although, after a bottle of wine with my meal, it’s not hard to be honest.

n It has been announced that the grand final of the Eurovision Song Contest will be broadcast live on American TV for the first time this month.

Do you ever get the feeling that Barack Obama is going to watch it and think to himself: ‘Why on earth did I say that Britain should remain in the EU?’

n I saw yesterday that a retiree in a tiny community in North Dakota paid tribute to Prince by ploughing a football pitch-sized version of the late musician’s symbol into his cornfield. This is why more old people need to be on Twitter, isn’t it?

n I know women like to get a spray tan before going on holiday, but I have a couple of questions for men about their pre-holiday grooming regime. First one is how long should you go without shaving in order to get the perfect ‘holiday stubble’?

You want it to be the length that manages to say you’re ruggedly attractive, without any women actually thinking you’re just too lazy to shave. The second question is, for how long do I have to pull my stomach in for before I go away, so that I can automatically do it without thinking? This is so that when I stroll by the side of the pool, I can look a bit leaner and fitter than I actually am. Is anyone able to let me know?