Stick with us for a real good time Ted

Steve's baby daughter made amazing progress this week, or so his wife thought

STEVE CANAVAN: It was a lot of rattle over just a little roll

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Every day I’m amazed at how uneasy I feel, just from opening Molly’s school bag.

It’s not the six-day old liquidised pear that causes consternation, it’s the daily demands.

I see this as an ancient communication channel between the school and us, to let us know how Molly is progressing at school, and what we need to do to maintain the momentum.

‘Bag To The Future’ (as it is affectionately known) is dragged in the door and cast aside, whilst biscuits and milk are polished off.

I just know there is a letter, request or task that needs my attention – there always is – so I do the right thing and leave it for my wife to open when she gets in from work.

The contents are varied, from an invitation to a charity event that is happening, to a pleasant ‘well done’ from the teacher.

In fairness, it is very rarely a request for money.

I know that some of the private schools are keen to send out requests to parents for gold bullion.

Two quid for a trip to Portchester Castle can be funded by the Royal Bank of Bunker. A £1,780 skiing trip to the Alps sadly can not, no matter how character building it is.

Of all the literature that makes its way home, last week’s was a cracker.

We were lucky enough to have the class mascot teddy bear home for the weekend.

It’s a lovely idea, the child involves the little fella in the weekend activities, then heads back into school on Monday to write it up and tell the classmates about the adventure.

All very nice…except that looking back at previous weeks, one can see how much fun the bear has had before and, being the competitive type, I want this bear to have the best darn weekend he’s ever had in his short fluffy life.

Week one and a lovely family have taken the bear out for a picnic. All very pleasant.

Week two, another sweet looking family have taken the bear to the beach and he’s sitting in a little boat, lovely…and so forth.

Each week it seems like families are trying to take a little step up and it almost becomes a window into your home life.

A picture of the bear lying face down in the dog basket isn’t going to cut the mustard.

I’m also mindful that the next lucky family will probably feel the same compulsion and will want to better us.

Fortunately for me, I have a very distant relative who is currently working on the International Space Station.

We’ve got a lovely picture of bear, 283 miles above Earth, with the gaseous rings of Saturn over his left shoulder.

Good luck to next week’s family.