Summer football transfer stories can bore us all rigid.
Take the one about Cesc Fabregas and his move from Arsenal to... well, nowhere yet, actually.
The Gunners skipper seems to have been on the verge of signing for his childhood dream-team Barcelona for about three years now.
We have been fed almost daily bulletins quoting manager Arsene Wenger, mysterious Barca insiders, and assorted hangers on.
Bottom line is – no deal.
Please let us know when it does and spare us the speculation.
Among other news not happening is Samir Nasri’s move away from Arsenal to somewhere or other.
The beleaguered Wenger berates Manchester City for their pursuit of the player, but this is all just part of the rhetoric that goes with summer transfer stories.
City’s activities in the market speak of a club with more money than sense.
Two summers ago, they paid £12m on left-back Wayne Bridge.
Apparently, he was not good enough, so they bought another left-back in the vastly over-priced £17m Alexander Kolarov from Lazio.
The Serb has been at Eastlands for only one season. Now he, too, is being replaced by a third left-back – Gael Clichy for £7m from Arsenal (yes, them again).
City, who yesterday accepted a new and improved offer for want-away striker Carlos Tevez from his former club Corinthians – are like mad millionaires frittering away a fortune.
A year ago they bought Jerome Boateng for £11m from Hamburg.
Now, within months, they have decided they don’t want him, either, and he has been sold to Bayern Munich.
And as for Tevez – frankly, the Argentine has been moaning for so long about life in Manchester that there seemed little point in keeping him.
I am past caring whether he stays, goes, or retires to run a zoo.
But be sure we will be kept up to date with every spit and cough of this story until any deal is done.
Plus, news reaches us that Spurs’ Luka Modric has asked for a transfer and wants to go to Chelsea, who are, of course, playing it all down.
All negotiating ploys.
Bet on that one going through because an unhappy Modric is about as much use to Spurs as a wet dish cloth.