The catalogue isn’t that big

Tents in the Isambard Brunel car park in Portsmouth

NEWS COMMENT: Wild campers in car park might make a difference

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Why does everything you buy at Argos have a seven-digit numerical code for ordering purposes?

If you think about it, this covers them for selling up to 9,999,999 different things!

With screw tops, any kid can get into a bottle of wine unless they’ve got the world’s most feeble grip ever

I know the Argos catalogue is big, but it doesn’t contain that many items, surely?

If every Argos shop contained that many items, imagine how big the back of the store would have to be? It’d have to be bigger than Wales or something!

Zayn Malik’s departure from One Direction has caused such consternation amongst fans that employers have been inundated with requests for compassionate leave.

His leaving has caused a flurry of calls to employment law firm Peninsula, which provides advice on staff rights in the workplace, as employees sought time off to grieve.

This sounds bad, but surely, it’s nothing compared to the number of work absences through music lovers and parents going sick with hangovers because they spent a lot of last week celebrating the news of his leaving?

Research has shown that children allowed an occasional sip of wine at the dinner table may be more at risk of taking to drink as teenagers. But I think there’s another reason why young kids are turning to wine, and it’s a really obvious one – screw top wine bottles.

With corks and a basic corkscrew, kids wouldn’t normally have the strength to get into a bottle of wine. Well, not without breaking the top of it over a brick wall, which some used to do. But with screw tops, any kid can get into a bottle of wine unless they’ve got the world’s most feeble grip ever.

What we need is to go back to having just wine in corked bottles.

Or, we could encourage kids to drink wine in a box. It’s really easy to get into, but luckily it tastes so disgusting that it’ll put the kids off wine forever. Just a thought.