The first thing I would do is buy a much bigger house

Harvey Weinstein

ZELLA COMPTON: Men need new lessons in treating women with respect

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This week I promised Lou I would buy her a brand new kitchen if I were to win the UK Lotto jackpot of £50.4m.

Apparently the odds of winning the big jackpot were 45 million to 1, but that doesn’t stop me and everybody else dreaming about how we would spend the cash.

The importance of having a spare room was shown last week when I had man flu and spent several nights sneezing and coughing

If I did win big one day, the first thing I would do is buy a bigger house. At present my family live in a three-bed house and we have no spare room.

The importance of having a spare room was shown last week when I had man flu and spent several nights sneezing and coughing.

My wife got really angry with me and asked me to move downstairs and sleep on the sofa.

I refused as I was ill and thought if anybody should sleep on the sofa, it shouldn’t be me.

Other things I would do with the money is hire a chef, cleaner, dog walker and a personal trainer.

People say money doesn’t make you happier, but surely winning millions would make life slightly easier.

Lou: As much as I’d love a new kitchen in my little house, I think if I were to win loads of money I wouldn’t bother.

Like Jez I’d just go all out, sell up and get a new house. Or three.

Tens of millions of pounds would mean I could have a lovely Downton-esque country house here on the south coast, complete with cook, butler and groundsman.

Next I’d hop on my private jet and go and find an idyllic chateau in France, perhaps on a mountain.

I’d probably need to employ a French chef to cater for all those fancy dinner parties I’d hold.

Thirdly, I’d find a nice remote beachside villa somewhere hot and sunny.

Or why not buy the whole island? I’d then build radio studios in all of my homes so Jez and I could do our show from wherever we fancied.

And finally I’d put a lump sum in the bank for the upkeep of all these properties and to pay my staff, then give the rest to charity.

Sound all right to you?

Oh okay then, I’ll buy you a new car as well.