We all know following Portsmouth Football Club is a unique and far-reaching experience.
Now the time has come to outline the rules for a healthy future of following the team we all love.
I hereby announce the Pompey Supporters’ Manifesto – the one-stop guide to following the star and crescent.
Feel free to tweet your additions to the fans’ manifesto at pn_jordan_cross...
1) Don’t expect a thing. Be prepared for anything.
2) Make some noise – and plenty of it. Sing, clap, shout and chant. Pompey supporters support their team.
3) Love Fratton Park and the way it is. Like our parents, it won’t be around forever. On second thoughts...
4) Appreciate the sentiment behind trying to raise money for Pompey through #fanpowerstadium on Twitter. But secretly be sick to death of it filling up your feeds.
5) Love the Pompey sailor, support any efforts to bring back the Pompey sailor wholeheartedly.
6) Don’t boo your own players. Ever. No matter how bad they are.
7) Love Alan Ball.
8) Back the Pompey Supporters’ Trust and their community share scheme. It may work, it may not – but they are operating in their club’s best interests and fighting for its well-being. That’s no bad thing.
9) Rue Matt Ritchie leaving the club.
10) Get angry at talkSPORT’s Adrian Durham and his misinformed rants at Pompey.
11) Get angry at talkSPORT’s Stan Collymore and his misinformed rants at Pompey.
12) Understand Balram Chainrai is not a saviour. He’s just a businessman trying to make money.
13) Bemoan Matt Le Tissier as a TV pundit. It’s not because he played for Southampton. He’s just rubbish.
14) Know that Ian Ormondroyd was offside in the play-offs against Leicester City in 1993. He is about 8ft 7in and he was offside. Thanks, Roger Milford!
15) Fight your corner when it comes to people attacking your club. You’re not at fault for its troubles. You are its best asset.
16) Support Michael Appleton – your club’s second best asset.
17) Insist you were there when Pompey beat Stockport in 1998 at the ‘wall of noise’ game. For the record, the attendance was 8,662.
18) Worship Barry Harris.
19) Question the Premier League and the Football League’s role in Pompey’s downfall.
20) Under no circumstances, bicker and fight with other fans about the best way forward for the club. Talk about it, yes. Debate it, certainly. But don’t bicker and fight.
21) Start every sentence with: ‘I for 4-1’ in the company of any Southampton supporter.
22) Appreciate old Pompey kits. Especially the Asics one in the early 90s – and the Umbro kit when Alan Ball’s side won promotion in 1987.
23) It’s 1992 at Highbury. Darren Anderton scores after 108 minutes. Ronnie Whelan scores after 116 minutes. Realise you’ve just witnessed the lot of a Pompey fan in eight minutes.
24) Wish you’d seen Jimmy Dickinson play. If you are lucky enough to have watched him, wish you’d seen Jimmy Guthrie lift the Cup in 1939. If you are of a certain vintage, wish you’d seen Arthur Conan Doyle play in goal for Portsmouth AFC.
25) Be proud of a history few clubs can match.