The problem with hand-washing is it can make you look a bit evil

NEWS COMMENT: Price rises? They’re just a sad part of life nowadays

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When I was in a hospital visiting a friend the other night, I saw one of those advice posters that they always have up on the walls of hospitals.

It was all about cleaning your hands with the anti-bacterial alcoholic handwash that you have to keep using while you’re there. And it amazed me that there was a six-step guide for cleaning your hands!

It had pictures showing the six steps you must take to properly wash your hands to make them clean. So I was thinking, does anyone ever take that much care to follow six steps when they just wash their hands normally with soap?

No-one thinks about washing their hands in a methodical way, do they? We just do it.

And the worst thing about this handwashing guide in hospital is it made a big thing about you rubbing your hands together to get them clean.

But the problem with rubbing your hands together like that is it looks like you’re thinking up some dastardly plan or scheme. It makes you look a bit evil. So, if you go to a hospital and you see all these doctors rubbing their hands together, that’s not good, is it?

I reckon I’ve discovered the worst diet or low-fat food version of a traditional food, and I’d like to find out if you can think of a worse one. In my opinion, low fat or healthy options coleslaw is the worst-tasting healthy version of a food there is. It tastes SO different from the full-fat one, it’s not even close! Try it and see if I’m right or is there another low-fat or diet version of a foodstuff that tastes even worse. I’d love to find out if there is one.

Bearing in mind the amount of stuff that seems to be spilled by people travelling on trains because they throw you about so much, shouldn’t the buffet car sell clothes as well as drinks and snacks? They’d make an absolute fortune!