The race really won’t be over for Sir Chris Hoy when he’s retired

Cycling champ Sir Chris Hoy has bowed out from competition - or has he?

Cycling champ Sir Chris Hoy has bowed out from competition - or has he?

Kim Kardashian

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So Sir Chris Hoy has announced he’s giving up competitive cycling. The thing is I’m not sure it’s possible for him to do that.

Be honest. If he’s cycling along a country lane and another cyclist overtakes him, he’s not going to just sit there and take it, is he?

He’s Sir Chris Hoy. He’s going to start revving up his legs and riding the guy off the road, isn’t he?

And besides, have you tried cycling on the streets of our major cities recently?

If you’re not competitive, you won’t survive for 10 minutes. Be honest, Chris.

You’re just giving up cycling on weird bikes in silly helmets.

Now it’s time to think about pubs, which is usually a good thing. But if pubs are so keen on us drinking more, why do so many of them

allow their toilets to become so hideous?

Realistically, pubs should make their loos the best thing in the place.

You’d need a reason for going to visit them more so you’d drink extra liquids.

But so many traditional pubs have rotten bogs that make you want to drink as little as possible. 

Apart from being pristine, pubs should have live bands in the loo, pool tables and trivia machines as well! Then people would drink more so they could go there!

And now the daft name award goes to Oral B’s toothpaste Pro Expert.

I bought some but I’m feeling guilty because I’m not sure whether I’m entitled to have it.

I don’t think I’m a ‘Pro-Expert’ at brushing my teeth. I don’t get paid for it.

And I don’t know how many years you have to brush your teeth for or what exams you have to pass to become classed as an expert .

If Oral B bring out a toothpaste called Amateur Enthusiast, I’d feel better about buying that!

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