The real responsibility lies with just one person: you

COMMENT: Decision over pier hours had to end up as a compromise

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Verity Lush

Our experiences, and our reactions to them, are all relative. If your life has been relatively smooth sailing, then that’s wonderful.

I’m a worrier, a pre-empter and a control freak. I’m a bookworm and a writer and a lover of words

But perhaps because it’s been so smooth, you’re not thankful for it – because you haven’t even realised.

Alternatively, if your life has been hard, then perhaps you recognise the little things and are able to take joy in the minutiae of your day.

It seems to me that it doesn’t do to be too greedy in life. If you have too much, and you take it for granted, then maybe it hits you that much harder when it’s gone.

I often read articles in which a person says that they ‘never thought it would happen to me’ – and I am quite envious of that attitude, in a strange way, because at least they’ve lived the rest of their life in blissful ignorance.

I, on the other hand, am the kind of person who assumes it will always happen to me! In part this is due to a variety of childhood circumstances, ranging from family alcoholism, parental bereavement, domestic violence and divorce.

I have an overt recognition therefore that ‘it’ can – and does – happen to anyone.

However, I’d also say I’m extremely lucky. I had a very happy childhood, with strong love from my parents and grandparents.

I subsequently have a good grasp on the things that matter, and an equally strong sense of independence and gritty determination.

I’m organised to a fault and I believe in standing up for other people. I don’t believe that I’m anyone else’s responsibility, and I probably take on too much responsibility sometimes for others.

I’m a worrier, a pre-empter and a control freak. I’m a bookworm and a writer and a lover of words.

Have you ever asked yourself who you are, and why? In terms of nature versus nurture, I probably come out 50/50. Our families have much to answer for in this debate, but the real responsibility lies with just one person: you.

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