There are times when you can easily judge a book by its cover

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Do you suppose the person who invented the phrase ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’ ever read children’s books aimed at the under-threes?

Because I’m pretty sure you can judge those books by their covers.

If it’s got a giant furry gorilla on the front, the chances are it’s going to be about a giant furry gorilla.

It’s not going to be a searing exposé of the drugs trade in Nicaragua, is it?

The only thing you can’t judge from the cover of a children’s book aimed at the under-threes is the price.

Whatever you think it’s going to be, it’s guaranteed to be at least five times more expensive!

Just a thought. If it’s an elderly female relative’s birthday everyone sends them flowers.

Bearing that in mind, don’t you think at least one of the people sending flowers should send the gift of a vase as well?

Because this happened with my mate’s mum. She got 14 bunches of flowers sent to her for her 70th birthday and she ended up putting about eight of them in things like old washing up bowls, German litre glasses and even an old washing-up bottle.

It looked weird plus they’re in a position where they might upset some of the flower-givers by relegating the flowers they sent to some rusty old container instead of a posh vase.

Be different when you’re sending flowers to an elderly relative. Send them a vase as well! 

Have the people who sell those packs of wafer-thin ham ever actually checked the thickness of a wafer?

Because I’ve never seen a wafer as thin as the wafer-thin ham they sell.

That stuff’s virtually see-through! Come on you ham-slicers, make the product you sell as thick as a Ryvita at least!