These pumpkins have left a bitter taste in my mouth

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It’s that time of year again when we all have mouldy fruits sitting on our doorsteps.

The smell of pumpkins is all-pervading and this year it’s even worse as my husband has decided, in his wisdom, that he’s going to roast pumpkin seeds.

Pumpkins really are one of the most useless fruits, aren’t they?

The arguments in this house about useless food items tends to centre around courgettes. Me? I’m a courgette lover but because my husband won’t eat them, the children believe they are excused too.

He blames his dislike of courgettes on the fact that they are a lethal weapon. Once, a while ago, a friend was cooking a stir-fry involving courgettes, one flipped out of the pan and burnt his foot. To me, this means one should wear shoes when stir-frying. To my husband, it was another nail in the courgette coffin.

But now it’s my turn to be frustrated by the pumpkin and all the associated detritus. The scraped strings of flesh and the seeds which cling to every surface, as if made from nature’s own super glue, drive me insane.

It’s the messiest part of any annual celebration and, let me tell you, sequins and glue play an important role at Christmas in this house. So it must be bad if I think pumpkins are worse.

I love Halloween but the pumpkin part has left me with a bitter taste – mostly because I am jealous of the quick ease with which my children have scraped theirs out. I clearly remember spending hours trying to create a similar effect with a turnip. Those were the days when you had to work for your doorstep lighting.

Maybe I’m also a bit green-eyed about some of the pumpkin art forms created by other families. While we still rely on the old triangle eyes, nose and mouth, there are some truly amazing works out there.

In fact, the only bit of longevity about my pumpkins is the fact that the seeds are sitting on the counter waiting to be eaten. And their decisive odour has crawled into every corner of my house. That’s the true horror of Halloween.

The only way to get rid of them is to package them up and give them out to unsuspecting trick or treaters – along with slices of courgette cake.