They have glasses, teeth that come out and funny pants

Mutiny Festival 2017 Picture: Paul Windsor

Keep children safe – but beware the nanny state

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More wisdom from eight-year-olds on grandparents.

‘When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.

‘They don’t say ‘‘Hurry up’’.

‘They show us and talk to us about the colours of the flowers.’

‘They wear glasses and funny underwear... they can take their teeth and gums out.’

‘They have to answer questions like ‘‘Why isn’t God married?’’ and ‘‘How come dogs chase cats?’’

‘Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.’

‘It’s funny when they bend over, you hear gas leaks and they blame the dog.’