They’ve got the weather but we’ve got the fast food

SUNNY Rick dreams of working somwhere warmer
SUNNY Rick dreams of working somwhere warmer
Mo Farrah after missing out on a gold medal
				 Picture: Adam Davy

VERITY LUSH: Leave me to browse the make-up counter in peace

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Flaming June has turned out to be Blimming June this year.

Average temperatures have been around 14 degrees instead of reaching the early twenties.

We have been told the problem is the jet stream.

Usually at this time of year it runs in a straight line from South America, over the Atlantic and north of the United Kingdom.

At the moment it’s currently waving north and south and behaving very erratically, hence our unsettled weather.

This all makes sense. But will we have a decent summer?

Well, apparently June 1976, was a wash-out, then we had no rain and scorching temperatures between July and early October, so maybe if the jet stream sorts itself out, summer will be saved.

But do our unreliable summers make you want to quit Blighty?

An old friend has recently relocated to Malta to work on an English-speaking radio station.

His Facebook status updates are really hard to take. He presents his radio show during the day and then DJs in bars and clubs at night. What a life!

His updates are like this: ‘Show over, now to enjoy 32C heat on the beach before big foam party tonight. You coming?’

Tempting! For me, Riviera Radio on the Cote D’Azur would be the place to be.

Based in Monaco, it broadcasts to more than a million ex-pats, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

I could host their breakfast show and then hang out on a yacht all afternoon.

So, why don’t I? Well I think after a while, I’d miss those cosy rainy days, watching movies cuddled up on the sofa whilst the rain buckets down outside.

I’d miss my pint of bitter in my local overlooking Portsmouth Harbour, watching the mist descend slowly, ruining the view.

And above all, I’d miss fish and chips with curry sauce, PG Tips, baked beans and Sky Sports News.

But as the winds touch gale force, the five day forecast looks woeful and I hear the A32 is backed up to Brockhurst again, the golden sand of Cannes does look tempting.

Maybe I could open an ex-pats fish and chip shop down there?