Think it’s white and gold? You should see an optician

Steve's baby daughter made amazing progress this week, or so his wife thought

STEVE CANAVAN: It was a lot of rattle over just a little roll

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Who would have thought that such debate could rage over the colour of a dress?

A picture of a two-tone dress went viral after Caitlin McNeil put the shot on website Tumblr after she and friends couldn’t agree on what colour it was.

Was it white and gold, or blue and black?

I don’t even know why I’m getting involved in conversations about a dress, but I’m just not having this gold and white argument.

Not a chance, it’s blue and black all day long.

People who think otherwise need to be booking themselves an appointment down the opticians.

I read about some academic explaining that there is no right or wrong answer, as there is no such thing as colours, just the way our brain interprets something it sees.

Wow, no colours. All these years people must have been imagining them. Fancy.

Sounds like an old geography teacher of mine who, whilst on a residential trip to a coastal area, told us whilst looking at the waves crashing into the shoreline that the sea doesn’t move!

Hmm, no wonder the grades were so good that year.

I have a strong suspicion that the white and gold people may be the same heathens who put the milk in first when they’re making the tea.

Under no circumstances should milk go in first, not if it’s made in a pot, a dustbin lid or an ashtray. It’s always last.

And then there’s the toilet roll over or under debate. For me it has to go over, not under nearest the wall.

I’m not expecting swans or any elaborate origami on the last sheet. Just put the toilet roll on in the correct way.

The loo is meant to be a place of relaxation, but I just can’t settle properly with the toilet roll installed wrongly.

It’s the milk first brigade, though, who need to be treated with extreme caution.

Is it too much in this day and age for someone to make a decent cup of Rosie Lee? Drinking tea is one of the last great British traditions we have left.

Let’s not ruin it by letting these milk first creatures take over.