I went shopping at a big branch of Boots the other day.
I was looking at the signs they have above the aisles telling you where everything is and I saw one which kind of confused me.
It said ‘Indulgent Bathing’, and was basically posh bubble baths, body butters and stuff like that.
But I saw it and thought, ‘how dirty have we become that we now see having a bath as an indulgence?’
And then I thought if I wanted a really indulgent bath, I wouldn’t just want it filled up with a posh bubble bath… I’d want a bevy of supermodels feeding me grapes while scrubbing me down.
That’s what I call ‘Indulgent Bathing!’
Just for once, I’d like to stay in a hotel where there isn’t a sign that says: ‘We really care about the environment, so if you want us to wash your towels, leave them on the bathroom floor so they can be collected.’
Can anyone tell me the name of a hotel where they don’t care about the environment – just so I can stay there for one night and be a little bit decadent for a change?
I want to be able to chuck my towels on the bathroom floor and have them left there. Just for once, please…
Do you know a ‘Tablet Twonk’? It’s someone who has a headache and asks you to get them some paracetamol.
So you go and get them some, but they say they can’t have it because it’s in the wrong kind of tablet. They have to have it in a ‘caplet’ or crushed up if the pill is too large.
And they can’t have those plastic things that melt in your mouth because they just taste awful and they can’t swallow them.
They end up giving you a worse headache than the one they’ve got themselves, don’t they?