We can’t move, so time for some home improvements

KIERAN HOWARD: Thanks very much for the hand, foot and mouth disease Louie

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We’ve been in our house in Portsmouth for five years now. Although I love it, I really think it’s time to move on.

We’ve outgrown it and if we’re ever to seriously think about having some rug rats in the future, we really will need a bigger home.

Our second bedroom is so small you couldn’t even swing a cat. But unfortunately for us, our pennies are seriously lacking momentum – who knew that you couldn’t go abroad for four months AND buy a new house in the same year?

I know, shock horror. So having said all of the above, we probably can’t move for at least another 18 months.

That’s why last week I took the pro-active decision to stop moaning about our house and start making some improvements.

I gutted our spare room and somehow managed to get rid of four bin liners full of junk. Four!

The room is so tiny I didn’t think it could hold that much stuff, let alone conceal it.

I then did a few cosmetic things such as buy a new mirror, put a new lampshade on the light and buy some blinds .

Then I thought that, instead of buying just a random picture to hang on the wall, I should get some photos developed of our world trip to create a nice montage for our bathroom.

Great idea, but not so good in practice. You see, I decided to do this while my partner Matt wasn’t around.

So although going to get the pics developed and purchasing some lovely wooden frames was easy enough, measuring, drilling and hanging wasn’t.

I did everything you could possibly imagine to ensure these pictures were in line – to prove it there are still pen marks all over the wall (I couldn’t find a pencil).

I even got the spirit level out to ensure the photos were straight!

Unfortunately, for some unknown reason I measured them wrong. But I really wanted all four pics to be put together to form a big square, so instead of attempting to drill yet more holes in my bathroom wall, I’ve simply balanced the two top picture frames on the bottom two.

Now I’m just hoping that they stay up there!