We all know we have to work at relationships. So what are the secrets? Well, good communication for a start, but also being thoughtful.
One of the biggest challenges I’ve found is letting go. Sounds silly, but after living on my own for four years, having someone else in your life takes some getting used to.
Sarah and I have been together now for almost three years and this summer we’re getting married. But I still struggle with not having my own way all the time! Letting go of full control is a slow process.
You can’t have your cake and eat it, but I’m lucky as Sarah is someone who wants to take over the running of the house – with some help, of course.
What I need to remember is to drop the old single person adage of ‘I did it my way’ and start thinking ‘we do it our way’.
I love cooking, trying new dishes and experimenting. But we weren’t eating until 9pm after I’d got home from work, so Sarah took over.
Sadly, I admit that I’d become a food snob, sticking my nose in when she was cooking. After a good talking to, I apologised and now let her get on with it. I cook at the weekend.
Generally it seems us men are a bit messy and lazy. My love of ‘proper’ coffee sees grains left in the sink. so I now tidy up after myself.
I clean the bath after every use and even wipe down the shower doors. I’m learning!
The annoying thing is, apart from falling over her shoes, Sarah doesn’t really do much that I can complain about though – even though I try to find things.
So the ‘re-programming’ continues. I now watch EastEnders and get emotional at One Born Every Minute, the BAFTA-winning series filmed on a maternity ward.
Meanwhile I still have 10 episodes of Top Gear on Sky Plus that I have yet to watch.
Now I’ve left behind my singleton life, I realise that a successful relationship is about compromise.
That and accepting that although us men think we are the bosses, that is just not true.
Oh, and a simple ‘yes dear’ normally does the trick!