We need to instil resilience in our children from a young age

Children need support to deal with life's problems
Children need support to deal with life's problems

The statistics that mask continuing real hardship

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Verity Lush is a 39-year-old mum-of-two who lives in Portsmouth.

She is a tutor in philosophy, English and maths and has written a book for newly-qualified teachers, plus textbooks and articles for teaching magazines and supplements.

Would you say that you are resilient? Do you have the strength it takes to overcome the blows that life deals us all, sometimes on what feels like a daily basis, with dignity and peace of mind?

Or are you the kind of person who finds themselves becoming embittered, dwelling on the hard times and lashing out with blame at those around you?

These are hard questions to answer, depending on your response, and they can be hard questions to ask, depending on your personal outlook on life.

Resilience is a skill that we need to instil in our children from a young age.

Life is no easy journey, and during the part when it should be easy, in childhood, we don’t recognise that it is.

However, childhood itself isn’t easy for everyone. Domestic abuse, divorce that may not be dealt with appropriately by the adults involved, alcoholism, parental illness or bereavement - these happen every day, in families the world over.

There is research to show that in those families, the resulting children often take either one end of the adult spectrum, or the other. Some, due to their circumstances or neglect, grow-up to be drug abusers or offenders, whereas others grow-up to excel at whatever they choose to do.

What is the difference, you may ask, between these children? And the answer, is that the difference may be you.

Those children who grow up to be successful have generally all had someone in their life that believed in them.

Someone who stood by and ensured that they felt valued and special, and safe and significant.

Those children became resilient to what went on around them, and the things they had no control over, because one relative, or friend, or teacher, or neighbour, showed them that they could make their own way.

You may be reading this, unaware that you are making the difference to a child’s future simply by the way 
in which you are showing them your belief and your care.

Life throws horrors at us all, but it is the way in which we overcome these and find a route around them, that speaks volumes about who we really are.

Sometimes a perceived horror is actually a temporary tough time, sometimes it’s a tragedy that takes true bravery to even attempt to come out the other side.

But if we help each other, we can make life a little easier for everyone.