Wearing a black bin liner just wouldn’t work today

Internet trolls can be very cruel

Snide remarks are just like playground name-calling

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It’s nearly Halloween and I’m really excited. Is it just me, or has it been hyped up quite a bit this year?

Everyone seems to be going a little bit mad for this spooky celebration and I for one am thrilled.

I’m a big kid at heart, so naturally I love it all – the planning, the dramas, the costumes and candy (not sweets, we’re celebrating what is an American holiday after all).

However, I can see it for what it is. Just a bit of fun, the odd bit of fake blood here and there, some bags of sugary stuff and the odd telling of a ghost story.

When I was a child, my witch’s outfit was made entirely out of a black bin liner and a pointed hat that I either made at school or was bought from the local One Stop.

Clearly things have developed quite a bit since then. A black bin liner as an outfit wouldn’t be deemed very ‘cool’ these days.

But I do think my fiance, Matt, has taken things a little too far this year.

Firstly, he’s been planning the whole thing for an entire five weeks – a little over the top in my opinion.

Secondly, he’s been on the internet for hours trawling websites for ideas and inspiration (in secret).

Thirdly, he has sworn me to secrecy so I can’t tell anyone attending a huge family party at my brother-in-law’s mum’s house.

So that’s basically my entire family then. Oh and did I mention that said outfit is costing the best part of £100. Blimmin’ ridiculous!

On top of that he’s shelled out £15 for a pair of coloured contact lenses for extra effect.

My goodness, this boy’s more dramatic than me – and trust me, that’s saying something!

So whilst everyone has been discussing and deliberating what costumes to buy and where to shop, I’ve been having to avoid the whole subject like it was a secret mission undertaken by MI5.

Quite frankly, I’m very close to lifting the lid on ‘the outfit’, not least because I’m rather mortified by our severely depleted bank balance.

But as I write this, Matt has just looked up and warned: ‘Don’t you dare write anything about my outfit’.

As if. Shhhhhh!

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