Who invented tubes? I’m talking about tomato puree and the incessant waste of the little globby bits which get stuck in the end.
It’s a nightmare when your recipe calls for two tablespoons of puree – to get your sauce to just the right consistency – and you know you have the right amount, but you can’t get at it because it’s glued up inside the damn tube.
However much you fold and squeeze, while the sauce burns ominously as you furiously swear, you know deep down that the tube is going to win – again.
It’s the same with toothpaste, moisturiser, sun cream and...well, the list goes on. I can’t understand why companies that manufacture tubed products don’t get their act together and satisfy customers with a neat jar.
So much easier to empty, to stack and to open. I loathe those pointy bits on tubes which you have to pierce the end with.
Of course that wouldn’t work for posters which come in tubes. Who hasn’t ripped the edges of a new print when trying to extricate it from cardboard?
The only decent Tube I remember was a disco in Stubbington. Now that was good, a blast from the mid-’80s. It was for teenagers and was full of sweaty youths dancing the night away in their flecked trousers, loafers and white socks. Us girls accessorised with cerise. Ah, those were the days.
Then there’s the Tube in London. That’s another squeezing moment where, for the only time in your life, it’s acceptable to ram up against total strangers.
Even when you step on the feet of the person behind, who then unceremoniously jabs you with their handbag, we still all carry on as if this was perfectly normal to be in such close bodily contact.
Obviously there are different tactics for tubes. Some people cut them open to get to the goodies, others fold them as they use the product.
They are organised people, but how do they cope with the infamous tubes of crisps? And before anyone says that Pringles tubes are accessible, let me tell you they’re not.
The slogan may be once you pop, you can’t stop. But you can’t stop because when you tip the tube up, the whole lot comes tumbling out.