Wrappers need a re-design

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The biggest re-design of KitKat wrappers in the chocolate bar’s 80-year history has been announced as part of a promotional campaign.

I think this is a good idea, because what the chocolate bar manufacturers have failed to take into account over the past few years is that chocolate-lovers are becoming fatter and so are their fingers.

If you have podgy fat fingers it becomes harder to open small things like chocolate bars

If you have podgy fat fingers it becomes harder to open small things like chocolate bars.

So, we need a radical redesign of chocolate bar wrappers to make it easier for the podgy-fingered chocoholics to get into them. 

Either that, or start making the chocolate bars bigger. That’ll please chocoholics even more.

A study has found that we spend an average of £1,600 every year without telling our nearest and dearest, with clothes, electronic gadgets and shoes being the most common secret purchases.

Also appearing on the secret purchase list are alcohol, handbags and kitchen gadgets.

Just a couple of things about this list. Firstly, if you buy a coffee machine, how on earth can you keep that secret from a loved one? They’re kind of big, aren’t they?

Secondly, if you’re buying booze in secret then basically, you’re an alcoholic aren’t you?

A survey into the fees charged by garages for the simple job of changing a car’s light-bulb found that drivers were paying ‘exorbitant’ sums of as much as £70 to have the job done.

On the bright side, at least this means we have a new lightbulb joke: Q: How many car mechanics does it take to change a car lightbulb? A: Apparently 50, judging by what they charge for doing it!

BBC Four is seeking new ideas for ‘slow TV’ after the success of its Goes Slow season which included an hour of birdsong and a leisurely trip down the Kennet and Avon Canal.

How about a film of snails doing Tai Chi or tortoises playing chess?