Young Rory proves a natural successor to Lord Mandelson

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Rory Weal made a fine impression at the Labour Party conference.

Delegates and party leaders were enraptured by his tale of woe in which he described the hardship he and his family had endured after their home was repossessed.

‘We had nothing. No money, no savings and only the benefits system to fall back on,’ he told delegates.

It now transpires the truth may have been tweaked somewhat. His father was a millionaire property developer whose business went bust, leaving Rory, his mother and siblings to slum it in a £300,000 semi-detached in Maidstone.

But all is not lost for the young man. Slippery, manipulative and a born spinner – New Labour has finally discovered a natural successor to Mi’lord Mandelson.