ZELLA COMPTON: Revealed – why women take so long to buy clothes

Women have inordinate problems buying jeans - allegedly!

Men, here’s a question or two for you. If you had to go shopping for a new pair of trousers and the store only sold them in one length, no matter what your height was, would you accept it?

Would you genuinely think it’s OK that if you’re 5ft 2in, or 6ft 3in, the length doesn’t matter as the only important factor is your waist measurement? How’s that feeling now? Do you think that maybe you might want to go to another store, and then you might need to try on a variety of pairs until you found some which vaguely worked to your height?

Can you imagine walking into the next store and being offered the option of waist sizes, in some random number sequence that has nothing to do with the actual measurement of your tummy? Just some arbitrary numbers which might relate to age, or to pork pies, or to anything which a shop sees fit (and by the way, although many stores use these strange numbers, they don’t ever mean the same thing).

I’ll let you into a little secret here.

You know how, once or twice, you’ve cast aspersions about the women in your life taking too long when shopping, having to try on everything, checking out similar items in other stores?

The reason is, wait for it, not pleasure as you suspected. Women don’t love shopping. Nope, they’re negotiating the system above. The length of time is because they’re simply trying to find clothes that fit their bodies in a system designed for one-height clairvoyants.

You have it super easy. Your trousers come in different lengths (as the fashion industry has recognised you’re different heights), and with specific waist sizes (not random numbers which have no standardised form between clothes ranges in shops, let alone between competing stores).

Why do we women accept this as a way of life? Why are we bought off with one or two stores offering medium and short lengths (there are never any ‘long’ left) in one style out of 50, and supposed to be grateful that this happens?

You know what would help to save our high streets, keep women shopping instore? Clothes which were actually made to fit women of different heights, not just girths (petite and plus).

And yet, store after store shies away from this problem by changing the lines every three weeks hoping that women will be distracted by some peacock colours and not realise that the clothes don’t fit.

I implore the fashion industry to adopt men’s trouser sizing and save us all the pain.

ANOTHER US MASS SHOOTING – LET’S SHOVE IT DOWN NEWS AGENDA

I was shocked to turn on the radio on Monday and hear, at the bottom of the news items after 10 minutes had passed, another mass shooting has taken place in the USA.

At one time this would have dominated the morning coverage, but it felt like an add-on, like the relegations of multiple deaths by floods in India, or some other natural disaster in a part of the world that our media care less for as no one from the UK died.

Mass shootings are now so commonplace in America we don’t even need to know at the top of the news cycle.

That’s hideous and scary and a sad indictment of the power of the gun lobby.

Another case of big business before social well-being.

SQUIRRELS HAVE THE LAST LAUGH WITH OUR DOG

Seemingly red squirrels are making a resurgence after being re-introduced to areas in north-west Scotland.

I haven’t seen a native squirrel for years and even though they’ve so far only spread about nine miles, it’d be great to see them again.

Though I am less confident that the dog would be delighted. He spends a large proportion of his waking hours emulating a statue on the patio in the hope that a larger grey squirrel will foolishly try to bury a nut in the garden.

His stationary-to-speed timing is impressive, yet never has he managed to capture his prey in six years of trying.

So what hope would he have with a smaller red variety?

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