Ho-ho-ho! The latest Christmas cracker jokes

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It was no laughing matter for millions, but the result of the EU referendum at least bought some cheer to amateur joke writer Laura McDon.


She won TV comedy channel Gold’s competition to find the nation’s best new festive joke.
Here are the top 20 entries:
:: How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit? No Brussels.
:: What do workers at Sports Direct get for Christmas dinner? About 5 minutes.
:: How do you recognise a Christmas tree from BHS? All the branches have gone.
:: I bought my mum Mary Berry’s cookbook for Christmas, I tried to get Paul Hollywood’s but he’d sold out.
:: What’s David Cameron’s favourite Christmas song? All I Want For Christmas is EU.
:: Why has Hillary Clinton asked Santa for a 23-letter alphabet? Because she is sick of F.B.I.
:: Why didn’t Roy Hodgson go to visit Santa at the North Pole? He couldn’t get past Iceland.
:: Why are Jeremy Corbyn’s Christmas cards on the floor? His cabinet collapsed.