Euro 2012 Bone on the Box: Semi-final-conscious before a postman celebrates

Alex Kiwomya

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So here we are, and I am, again. I thought these tournaments finished when England got knocked out, so finding there were another three games was a bit of a blow – for you lot, as much as anyone, faced with three more of these columns.

Even worse, the BBC had both semi-finals – apparently because ITV chose an extra Ireland game instead (seemed like a nice idea at the time, I guess) and we were stuck with seeing and hearing more of Lineker, Hansen, Shearer & Co than we deserve.

England’s exit hasn’t stopped the Beeb spending plenty of programme minutes talking about Roy’s Boys.

Was our early exit part of Roy’s masterplan to secure his squad extra time to prepare for a winning World Cup 2014 campaign?

I think they can do it. Roy just needs to build a team around James Milner and Ashley Young, then make sure he leaves James Milner and Ashley Young at home when they fly to Brazil.

Anyhow, back to the semis and it was the same old stuff from the same old pundits, although Jurgen Klinsmann and Luca Vialli livened it up a little. The BBC didn’t even make a loan bid for ITV’s potato waffle-like chairs to cheer up the surroundings.

‘We’ve come halfway to Siberia to see the pride of Iberia,’ said Lineker before Spain and Portugal bored us all rigid. With any luck, Gary and his friends will now make the other half of the journey and get stranded there for a few seasons.

Shearer was interrupting Dixon – it happens a lot – but Dixon held his ground and told him ‘…’ang on, ’ang on’. Wish they could find other pundits to shut him up as abruptly.

Martin Keown was talking to Damien Johnson outside the stadium but sadly, security let him in to take his place next to Steve Wilson.

For once, Lineker summed up a match rather well: ‘Well that was rubbish,’ he said.

On to the second semi and Guy Mowbray greeted one German save with the observation that Manuel Neuer is really well aware of where his posts are. I should hope so too – he is a goalkeeper – but minutes later he wasn’t too aware of where the ball was as it flew past him twice.

Balotelli’s postman must have been giving it large outside Mario’s Mansion as Mr B has axed his ‘don’t celebrate when doing your job’ policy.

It was just left to Keown to get ‘annoyed’ (for reasons known only to him) at the Italians celebrating – and the rest of us to get annoyed at Keown.

Got a view on the Euro 2012 coverage? Who’s been the best pundit and who’s been the worst? Email stevebonepfc@googlemail.com or send a tweet to @stevebone1

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