Five Minutes With... Andy Zaltman

Andy Zaltman is coming to The Cellars at Eastney
Andy Zaltman is coming to The Cellars at Eastney

SHORT STORY FOR THE WEEKEND: Red Noir by Richard Salsbury

0
Have your say

Following storming runs at the 2011 Edinburgh Fringe and London’s Soho Theatre, Andy Zaltman is taking his show on the road and coming to The Cellars at Eastney on Sunday.

Armchair Revolutionary covers economic idiocy, political and social upheaval at home and around the globe, revolutions, the all-new Satiricax 3000 Radio and some puns about dogs..

It sees him ponder the state of the world with his trademark cocktail of political satire, flamboyant analogies and outright lies.

We caught up with him to find out more.

When did you first realise you were funny?

Aged zero, when I had the midwives in howls of laughter with my Winston Churchill-covered-in-amniotic-fluid impression. Subsequently, my comedic career took a dip until my late teens, when I finally worked out how to occasionally cross the line between annoying and amusing.

Other than that, it was probably when my now-wife said ‘I do’ in Lincoln Registry Office. She wasn’t marrying me for my looks.

What would you be if you weren’t a comedian?

Either a rocket scientist, because all the things described as being ‘not rocket science’ make me think that rocket science is not quite as complicated as the self-interested rocket scientists would have you believe.

Or a sports journalist, which I partially am already with my cricket blog and podcast. This taps into my one true area of expertise – wasting my brain on obscure sporting statistics.

Name three things that make you laugh:

1. The World. It’s full of funny stuff. It’s not 100 per cent funny, but it’s still easily one of the funniest planets out there.

2. American politics. The most expensive squawking contest known to mankind.

3. Animals on skateboards. Scientifically, nothing could ever be funnier.

What’s your favourite one-liner?

That depends how long the line is and how small a font you’re allowed to use, but probably a joke Lee Mack used to tell about his grandad. It was a perfect joke.

I won’t tell your readers exactly what it was, in case he still uses it, or they go back in time to see him do it when he did use it.

Who’s your biggest hero?

Tough question. To be honest, I’ve no idea. It’s been more than two decades since I kept a hero chart, and I very much doubt Jon Bon Jovi would still be at the top (with all due respect to Mr Jovi).

I saw an interview with Harry Connick Junior in which he said that his biggest hero is his father. Harry seems like a nice enough guy, with his head screwed on right, so I’ll say that my biggest hero is Harry Connick Junior’s father.

See Andy at The Cellars at Eastney on Sunday from 8pm. Tickets cost £10 from (023) 9282 6249, thecellars.co.uk or on the door.