Review: Puppetry of the Penis at The Kings Theatre in Southsea

Revellers at Wickham Festival

Wickham Festival is bolstered by the good weather

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Well they do say it’s not what you’ve got, it’s what you do with it that counts – and that’s what drew hundreds of excited chattering women (and a very few husbands) to The Kings on to witness ‘The Puppetry of the Penis; the ancient art of genital origami’.

The wildly anticipated main act was preceded by Titty Bar Ha Ha, a corseted comedy duo who sang about all sorts of unmentionable things and revved up an increasingly frenzied audience. After a long interval, two caped men finally appeared and got the ball rolling. Literally.

What was I thinking? After all, the title has it. I’d been intrigued to see how this would be handled – perhaps with elegance and wit? Subtlety and imagination? ‘Fraid not. What we got were two starkers Australian blokes pulling their puddings (projected onto a screen) into some fairly unfeasible and stomach churning creations for an hour. That’s it.

The only way to enjoy this would be to be blind-drunk (with the emphasis on the blind). I wasn’t, so I left early (along with quite a few other members of the audience) to go home for a good wash. Not for the squeamish.