A guide to what’s on around the area today.
FAREHAM: Ashcroft Arts Centre, Osborn Road. 7.30pm. Richard Herring: Talking Cock. Warning: comedy often contains strong language and adult themes. Admission £15. (01329) 223100.
PORTSMOUTH: The Barn, Milton Arms, Milton Road. Hard, Fast and Dirty. With special guests Billy Daniel, Bunter, and Justin Bourne. Hard house. Admission £5, more on door. Over 18s ROAR. (023) 9221 0437.
SOUTHSEA: Edge of the Wedge, Albert Road. 11pm-2am. The Wolf Cub Club. Withy Champagne Justice DJs. (023) 9286 3911.
COSHAM: St Colman’s Hall, St Colman’s Avenue (PO6 2JJ). 8pm-10.15pm. TPP Dance Club Social Dance. Ballroom, Latin, sequence. Large dance floor. Admission: £3 in advance, £4 on door. 07989 124 089.
PORTCHESTER: New Portchester Community Centre, Westlands Grove. 2pm-4pm. Tea Dance. Ballroom, sequence, old tyme, etc. Come and dance the afternoon away. Refreshments available. Admission £2.50. (023) 9278 9124.
GOSPORT: Search, 50, Clarence Road. 10am-11.30am, 12.30pm-2pm, or 2.30pm-4pm. Make It Like Matisse: art workshops for families. Be inspired by the Matisse exhibition and create your own masterpiece. Arty fun for ages four and up. Admission free but please book in advance. (023) 9250 1957.
HAVANT: Staunton, Middle Park Way, Leigh Park. 10am-4pm. Butterfly House. Watch the butterflies take part in courtship flights and feed from plant nectar and fruit. (023) 9245 3405.
PORTSMOUTH: Buckland Community Centre, Malins Road. 6pm-9.20pm. Reiki Therapy, Metamorphic Technique and Indian Head Massage. Drop-in therapy session, no appointment necessary. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. Admission: £5-£8.
PORTSMOUTH: Lord Mayor’s Banqueting Room, Floor 2, The Guildhall. 10am-midday. Coffee Morning. An opportunity to meet friends old and new, have a chat, enter the raffle, rummage for bric-a-brac bargains and enjoy coffee and cake. Admission £2, with proceeds in support of the Lord Mayor’s Appeal raising funds for the Portsmouth Alzheimer’s Society and Portsmouth Cancer Care – the Whitburn Trust. (023) 9252 3463.
SOUTHSEA: D-Day Museum, Clarence Esplanade. 11am-3pm. Meet Normandy Veterans. (023) 9282 8068.
COSHAM: Coffee Shop, B Level, Queen Alexandra Hospital. 10am-4pm. Art Exhibition. (023) 9238 7284.
GOSPORT: Gosport Gallery, Walpole Road. 10am-4pm. Matisse Drawing with Scissors, Late Works 1950-1954. The exhibition features 35 lithographic reproductions of the famous cut-outs, produced in the last four years of his life. Free admission. (023) 9252 3463.
PORTSMOUTH: City Museum and Records Office, Museum Road. 10am-5pm. No Place Like Pompey ... looking at some of the things that make Portsmouth special. Football in the City: a space in the heart of Portsmouth ... devoted to the beautiful game. A Study in Sherlock ... uncovering the Arthur Conan Doyle Collection. (023) 9282 7261, portsmouthmuseums.co.uk.
SOUTHSEA: Art Space, Brougham Road. 6pm-8pm. Going Home. An exhibition of works by Natalie Dowse. artspace.co.uk.
EAST MEON: Village Hall. Argo (12A) 7pm doors for 7.30pm. Directed by Ben Affleck. Starring: Ben Affleck, Bryan Cranston and John Goodman. Admission: £5. (01730) 823337.
HASLEMERE: Haslemere Hall, Bridge Street. Parental Guidance (U); 3pm. Directed by Andy Fickman. Starring: Billy Crystal, Bette Midler and Marisa Tomei. Quartet (12A); 8pm. Directed by Dustin Hoffman. Starring: Maggie Smith, Tom Courtenay, Billy Connolly, Michael Gambon, Pauline Collins and Andrew Sachs. (01428) 642161 for further details.
LISS: Triangle Centre. Liss Film Festival 13: Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted (PG); 2.30pm. Fighting to get home to their beloved Big Apple, their journey takes them through Europe in a travelling circus. Admission: £3, concs. Liss Film Festival 13: Hope Springs (15); 7pm. Directed by: David Frankel. Starring: Meryl Streep, Tommy Lee Jones and Steve Carrell. Admission: £6. (01730) 301000.
PORTSMOUTH: No 6 Cinema, Boathouse 6, Historic Dockyard. Quartet (12A); 7pm. UK, 2013. Directed by Dustin Hoffman. Starring Michael Gambon, Maggie Smith, Billy Connolly, Pauline Collins and Sheridan Smith. Admission £7.50, concs. 07435 029 408, no6cinema.co.uk.
ESWORTH: The Railway Inn, Horndean Road. 8.30pm. The Delicate Sound of Floyd.
FAREHAM: Hill Park MWM Club. Robi Lee Disco.
PORTSMOUTH: RMA Tavern, Cromwell Road, Eastney. 8.30pm. Atomic Badger. rmatavern.co.uk.
PORTSMOUTH: The Old House at Home, 104, Locksway Road, Milton. 8.30pm. Dave Barrett.
PURBROOK: The Woodman, London Road. 8.30pm. Belle and the Beaus.
SOUTHAMPTON: The Brook, 466, Portswood Road. 8pm doors. The Neville Staple Band. Admission: £14 advance, £16 door. (023) 8055 5366.
SOUTHSEA: Edge of the Wedge, Albert Road. 7.30pm. Strong Island Records presents: Boneyards. Plus special guests: Is Bliss; and more. Admission £3. (023) 9286 3911.
SOUTHSEA: The Golden Eagle, Delamere Road. 9pm. Power of Three. Blues trio. (023) 9282 1658.
SOUTHSEA: Wedgewood Rooms, Albert Road. 8pm. The Mojo Filters. Plus special guests: The Plans; and Midday Commitee. Plus DJs till late. Admission £7. (023) 9286 3911.
FAREHAM: Ferneham Hall, Osborn Road. 7.30pm. Oklahoma! Musical presented by Stage One Youth Theatre. Admission £10.50, concs. (01329) 231942, fernehamhall.co.uk.
GUILDFORD: Main Stage, Yvonne Arnaud Theatre, Millbrook. 11am, 2pm. Andy and Mike’s Tick Tock Time Machine. Starring Andy from CBeebies. Admission: £11; under-18s £9.50. (01483) 440000, yvonne-arnaud.co.uk.
HAVANT: The Spring, East Street. 7.30pm. Iron. Emotional drama by Rona Munro, presented by Bench Theatre. Admission £8, concs. (023) 9247 2700, thespring.co.uk.
HAYLING ISLAND: Hayling Community Centre, Hayling Park, Station Road, West Town. 7.30pm. High School Musical. Presented by Hayling Youngsters. Admission £8, concs. (023) 9246 7545.
PETERSFIELD: The Studio@TPS, Cranford Road. 7.30pm. My Mother Said I Never Should. Play by Charlotte Keatley, performed by the Lion and Unicorn Players. Tickets £5-£10 from One Tree Books, (01730) 264458.
PORTSMOUTH: Groundlings Theatre at The Old Benny, 42, Kent Street, Portsea. 2pm, 8pm. National Theatre Connections: What Are They Like? By Lucinda Coxon. Admission: £6, concs. (023) 9273 7370. groundlings.co.uk.
SOUTHAMPTON: Mayflower Theatre, Commercial Road. 7.30pm. Puppetry of the Penis. Performing the ancient art of genital origami. Admission: £19.50. (023) 8071 1811, mayflower.org.uk.
SOUTHSEA: Kings Theatre, Albert Road. 2pm, 7pm. Zippo’s Circus. Admission £15, concs. (023) 9282 8282.
TITCHFIELD: St Margaret’s Arts Centre, 73, St Margaret’s Lane. 7.30pm. The Wheel Spins (The Lady Vanishes!). A pre-war mystery. Admission: £11. (01329) 556156, titchfieldfestivaltheatre.com.
WEST MEON: West Meon Village Hall. 7.30pm. Neville’s Island. Tim Firth comedy, performed by West Meon Theatre. Tickets £8 from westmeontheatre.co.uk.
WINCHESTER: Theatre Royal, Jewry Street. 7.30pm. Guys and Dolls. Musical presented by Encore Youth Theatre. Admission £13.50, concs. (01962) 840440, theatreroyalwinchester.co.uk.
WALKS & TALKS
PETERSFIELD: Privett Village Hall. 7.45pm for 8pm. First Aid Awareness. Talk by Dr Kate Kindler, who will give advice on how to cope and what to do in medical situations – basic lie support for adult and children, first aid and when to seek help. privettvillagehall.co.uk.